Can I Date Whilst Going Through A Divorce?

Sometimes spouses may separate and lead separate lives for many years without divorcing. Other times, separating spouses are keen to formalise the breakdown of the relationship to be able to move on without worry about any remaining rights/obligations they have towards the other. Even if you are moving ahead with divorce straight away, the process takes a minimum of 26 weeks, and it can be longer than this if you need to work out what happens with your finances or children.

Is it legal?

The question a lot of people are left with is ‘am I in limbo?’. Separating spouses may worry that they are ‘not allowed’ to date whilst they are still legally married to someone else. This is not the case. You absolutely can date when you are going through a divorce.

Is it a good idea?

The question of whether you ‘should’ date is a little different. The fact you are going on dates and putting yourself out there again will not have an impact on the divorce process, but it might impact your financial settlement. One thing that it might do is upset your former partner. If you are trying to come to an agreement about how your assets should be split, your dating life might cause friction and increase any animosity. This is not a particularly ‘legal’ point, but it is something to consider. Further, some divorces are amicable, and your former partner may be pleased to see you moving on or may have moved on themselves.

What if it gets serious?

Dating someone whilst you are going through divorce proceedings becomes more relevant when the relationship becomes more serious. If you decide to live with a new partner, or get engaged to be married, the court can view your relationship as being one with some permanency. This means that, when looking at a financial settlement, your new partner’s assets and income may be taken into account. This is because the court expects that your resources will be pooled if you are living together or considering marriage.

When considering a financial settlement, the court will look at everyone’s needs but also their resources. You will be asked to give the court details of your new partner’s income and assets insofar as you know them though, normally, they are not probed into in as much depth as your own.

If you are living together, the court would think it likely that you would share the burden of the bills. You may be seen to need less income per month because of this. If you have moved into a partner’s house, your housing needs can be considered to be met. Further, you may need less capital for a deposit as your partner will be presumed to be contributing.

If your financial settlement includes you receiving spousal maintenance from your partner, these payments would end on remarriage. It can also be built into any agreement, or decided be the court, that payments should end on cohabitation so the line is not necessarily drawn in the sand after the divorce and financial matters are finalised.

It is a very personal decision as to whether you want to date whilst divorced. It is a bigger decision still to decide whether you are going to move in with a new partner . Bear in mind that, if you give evidence that you have no intentions to move in with, or marry, your new partner but immediately go and do so when your financial matters are settled and your divorce is finalised, your former spouse may be able to set aside the order. If you are moving on with your life, it is best to be up front about it.

If you have any concerns about dating whilst divorcing, please do not hesitate to contact our expert team.