Absolutely! In fact, you are very much encouraged to do so.
The benefits
Coming to an agreement with your former spouse without going to court can have a wide range of benefits. One of the first, which should not be underestimated, is that you avoid the stress of proceedings which can often increase animosity. Secondly, someone signs up to an agreement (however much they may feel that they have compromised), it is more likely that they will stick to its terms than if an order if imposed upon them by the court. There are obviously legal routes that can be taken if someone does not abide by a court order, but avoiding the stress and associated costs is a huge benefit.
Further, you can save a lot of money by coming to an agreement with your former partner. The fees involved with financial remedy proceedings are often substantial. Your solicitor will work with you to keep them as low as possible, but the matrimonial pot (what is available to be split between you and your ex) will be reduced.
How do we do it?
You might be fortunate enough to be able to sit down with your former partner and agree how you should divide your assets with no outside input. If not, hope is not lost. Mediation is an option that the courts are very keen for more people to take. This involves a qualified, neutral, third party sitting down with you both (either together or one at a time) and facilitating discussions. You will most likely be asked to bring financial information with you to the sessions. The mediator will then be able to offer some guidance of what the court would consider if they were asked to intervene. Sometimes the simple presence of a third party can help keen discussions on track.
A popular alternative is negotiations through solicitors. Solicitors can guide you through a disclosure process (working out what is in the pot) and negotiating settlement (splitting it). This often follows the same structure as the court process but without the costs of attending hearings.
If mediation and negotiations through solicitors do not work and you still want to avoid the court process, there are other forms of ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution). One of these is arbitration. This is a lot more akin to the court process but has the benefit of a much swifter resolution. You and your spouse would need to agree on a qualified arbitrator who would then hear evidence from you both before deciding how the assets should be divided. An arbitrator’s decision is binding.
What do we do when we’ve agreed?
When you and your spouse have reached an agreement, it is very important to have it drawn up into an agreement and approved by the court. This means that the agreement is enforceable and that all rights/obligations you and your former partner had towards each other by virtue of your marriage are brought to an end subject to the contents of your agreement.
Completing the paperwork for the court can be a little tricky. There is a form to fill in that sets out all of the information that the judge reviewing your agreement needs to make sure that it is broadly fair. They will not dive into the minutiae of the agreement, but they do check to make sure that one party is not being left significantly worse off than the other. It is sensible to take expert advice on turning your agreement into a court order and filling the relevant paperwork so that you have peace of mind in the future that what you both intended is what the order says.
