Can my ex stop me from seeing my child?

Following the breakdown of a relationship, it can be difficult to sort out arrangements regarding children, including which parent they live with, and any time spent with the non-resident parent. This can often lead to arguments between parents, which can appear difficult to resolve. What causes more conflict is when one parent refuses to let the other parent see their child. This can be extremely distressing for a parent but also for children who may have been used to seeing their mother or father every day.

The Court will not permit a parent to stop contact unless there are significant concerns for a child’s safety and wellbeing. The Court is keen to promote a positive and healthy relationship with both parents where possible and so, no parent can stop the other from seeing their child unless a court decides that there would be a risk of harm to them.

If an agreement isn’t possible there are remedies in place to assist parents in dealing with this issue. CAFCASS may be able to assist in ensuring contact remains in place for the non-residing parent. They can help a Parenting Plan, allowing both you and your ex-partner to agree times for contact. This plan might involve overnight stays, or meeting for a certain time each week. If you are left with no choice but to go to court, you will usually be expected to have tried a Parenting Plan first.

A Parenting Plan can also help more generally with matters relating to your child’s education and healthcare. Under the Children Act 1989, if you have parental responsibility, then you have the right to a say in these matters. A child’s mother automatically has parental responsibility, and a father usually will. However, parental responsibility does not automatically mean that you have a right to see your child.

If your ex-partner is not willing to cooperate via this route, another option is to instruct a solicitor to write a letter setting out your contact proposals, and negotiate with your ex. This will make it clear that you are treating the matter seriously and are prepared to pursue all avenues.

Alternatively, a family mediator may be able to help you in reaching an agreement with your ex. A mediator is a trained neutral 3rd party individual who helps parties reach an agreement by talking with both parents. A mediation agreement has no legal force, but a solicitor can help you apply to court to make it legally binding.

If other methods are unsuccessful, you can apply to court for an interim contact order which allows you to have contact with your children until a Child Arrangements Order is made. A child arrangements order will set out how often you can see your child, and where.

The welfare of your child will be the court’s main concern as they view a child’s contact with their biological parents very important and will usually only refuse access if they believe there is a possible risk of harm to the child.